Posted in Thoughts and writings.

Unlove Someone. 


Once upon a time, you loved someone, more than your life, he was your soulmate. 

And one day, you broke up, things didn’t turned out well between you both.  He no longer was your soulmate, or the love of your life. Now you want to unlove him because he broke you apart.  You start unloving him. 

But is it possible to unlove someone, someone who meant the world, little while ago. 

Unloving someone, you once loved is next to impossible. You never unlove people. You don’t wake up one morning and find that you no longer love that person. Forget months and years, sometimes it doesn’t happen in a life time. Once you have truly given your whole heart and soul to a person, you leave a piece of yourself with them, and even after months and years of non communication, and you would still wonder how that piece of you is doing. 

It’s kind of funny how in this era of social media, how quickly people fall in love, break up and again fall in love with someone else. It’s either they didn’t loved the person in first place and they were living the false idea of love or maybe they confused infatuation with love. These days  people mostly confuse infatuation with love. 

“You never stop loving someone, you either never did or you always will.”

You will always love the person whom you truly loved. Memories of them, flashbacks, will remind you now and then about the trip you didn’t take. 

Their memories will run parallel with your daily life. 

You never unlove people, and they never goes out of your life. They stays with you always. No matter how badly they treated you, they never goes out of your life. Once a person comes in your life and you give him/her a little space in your heart, they stay there forever. You just can’t unlove people. 

With time, you will definitely heal, but you will have this scar — this tiny space cut into you that’s reserved for that somebody who used to play a big part in your life. For better or for worse, the scar will stay with you forever.

I would love to know what you guys think about unloving someone. 


“I believe that people come into your life and then some go. I also think there’s a purpose as to why they were in your life at all. Each one takes a piece of you when they go. Some leave pieces of themselves with you. Sometimes its’s wisdom, or maybe, it’s a lesson.”


— Shey Stahl, Waiting for You

Art – christina nguyen, pic credits – Google. 

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64 thoughts on “Unlove Someone. 

  1. What a wonderful concept..you are absolutely right; we either love or we don’t. Even when relationships fail ; the foundation of hurt, anger, and passion resonates from the love we share with another …The art you chose to use is beautiful. I appreciate art such as these; the peace of tranquility of a simplistic scene….thought provoking message – Perfecto!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Very well said! True love is immortal, perhaps that is the reason why those historic stories of true love still have a place in our hearts. It’s possible to unfollow on Twitter and unfriend on FB but Unloving is definitely impossible. A must read!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Maybe we can’t stop loving someone. But atleast we can learn to live without the people who are toxic to our mental and emotional health. You may not retrieve what you gave that person but atleast you can grow into someone who is strong enough to be able not live with that piece.
    Great thought, btw! I loved the line ‘Either you didn’t love them at the first place or you still love them’.
    😍😍

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I believe in cases of serious abuse or trauma love can be killed. Overall though, I believe love is giving away your soul chunks at a time. Once given, it cannot be recaptured, once taken, you remain the possessor forever

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I know that the people I still have fondness and love for are always with me because I continue to dream about them. I even confessed to an ex-boyfriend once that I will always love him even though we have gone our separate ways. There is no way to stop caring for people who impact us deeply; to me it just doesn’t work that way. Another great post with wonderful insight!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I love this and your blog. You cannot unlove someone, especially when you invested your time, effort, and feelings into them, and it doesn’t matter how long you have loved that person. Time is not a measurement of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Anand,

    First of all, I’d like to say that you write beautiful messages and profound thoughts. Your topics are relevant and significant. You have amazing quotes and you have strong lines that I wish I had written. Haha. Happy to read them though, for sure.

    Unloving someone… I agree with you, we cannot unlove someone.

    We may move on, we may even “forget that love” sometimes as we live our life, but it’s still there, it’s always there, unchanged, untarnished. I am convinced that this happens when we consciously promise to love forever, truly meaning the promise, and we forget to “unpromise”.

    It doesn’t mean that we can’t “love” again and another. It doesn’t mean that this new love is not real love. I think that we are capable of loving more than one person, just differently and varying magnitude.

    Of course, as you said, we confuse infatuation with love. We really do. In hindsight, I see that clearly. I am able to see that my past “loves” were either infatuation or physical attraction or purely sexual or companionship or friendship, all misread and misinterpreted, taken the wrong way further. I know because I look back, not smiling but I laugh. I’d feel ridiculous but I have no regrets. The more I realize there is only that one true and great love.

    Mine wasn’t just the boy that got away; mine was the One Great True Love. My psychologist said he’s an illusion… We’re friends; he said we’ll be friends for life. The love remains and the dreams in my sleep reflect so but I just don’t do anything about it because we both have our separate lives. He said maybe when we’re 75, with our walking canes, we’ll finally be together again… 😊

    If you haven’t yet and you get a chance, do watch The Best of Me, based on Nicholas Sparks’ novel. I’d like to read the book. I can imagine how much more it will touch my heart.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, point of views, stories and poetry.

    Hugs
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Life was messy. Always had been and always would be and that was just the way it was, so why bother complaining? You either did something about it or you didn’t, and then you lived with the choice you made.”
      Yes I have read that book, one of my favourites. Hello Anne. 🙈 Thanks for sharing your story. And as it is said, you either love someone in someway forever, or you never loved them at all. I’m happy that you are friends and hopefully you will be get together one day. Thanks for appreciatimg my posts. Well I’m also studying psychology in university. 🙈
      “Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
      and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
      Love one another but make not a bond of love, Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
      Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
      Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
      Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
      And stand together, yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart. “

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful. And life is incredibly awesome despite its messiness. I believe we complicate the simple. 😊

        Good luck with Psychology. Looks like you’ll be great and with your blog, you’re training for those non-fiction bestsellers.

        I hope your Sunday is good.

        Much love and hugs 💖🤗

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Non fiction bestsellers is kinda distant dream. But if ever it gets released, first copy will sent to you, or you will definitely find mentioning of your name somewhere in that book. 🙈 more love and hugs.!!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Thought provoking post!
    I learned that it is the absence of love that breaks one’s heart, not love itself.

    I believe that there are people who can ‘unlove’ you. Or maybe they never did, or never could, as you mentioned. That is the heartbreak of all heartbreak, to know how much love you gave to someone, and they never truly loved you at all. Leaving you with questions of why? Why was I so unlovable?

    I wonder, time and time again, those that were a part of life that I truly cared for and/or loved. Not just relationships with men, but women friendships, family relationships, and other relationships that time and intimacy was shared (to be clear, regarding friendships, family and other relationships, of course I don’t mean sexual intimacy).

    Do they remember me in a positive way, the times we shared, the love that was there?
    Even though years or decades have passed, do they too, remember me in good memories, of the times we shared? Or did they just use me and take advantage of the love I felt for them?
    Or was it all just an illusion of mine?
    Did I only seek out those that were incapable of giving love?
    Or incapable of loving me?

    I had a therapist once tell me, the men of my past that I continued to remember the fond memories of our times together, even though they were abusive men, was because I longed to have those memorable parts, those loving parts, to be in my life. It wasn’t that I desired to be back in a relationship with these abusive men, but that my heart longed to be loved the way I wanted to be loved. It was important to distinguish between the two.

    I have never found it, to this day, a true love. I have spent an entire lifetime with abusive men. But I have spent the last 8-10 yrs. not seeking it, but spending that time knowing more about me and learning to love me first.

    The ultimate key component to any healthy relationship, loving yourself and knowing you are ‘good enough’ for such love, and that that you are worthy of love. I never learned that.

    Like

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